The Seven Desires of Every Heart by Mark Laaser & Debra Laaser

Author:Mark Laaser & Debra Laaser [Laaser, Mark R.]
Format: epub
Tags: Religion, Christianity, Christian Life, Christian life & practice, Family & Relationships, Personal Growth, Christianity: General, Christian Life - Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth, Religion - Christian Life, Interpersonal relations, Christian Life - Relationships, Relationships, Personal Christian testimony & popular inspirational works, Spiritual life, Spiritual formation, Spiritual life - Christianity, group or collective psychology, Social
ISBN: 9780310278160
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2008-10-13T11:00:00+00:00

T H E S E V EN D E S I R E S O F E V ERY H E A RT

Points to Ponder

Make a list of your own coping strategies.

Decide if you would like to change or eliminate any of

your coping behaviors.

Would you be willing to admit to someone your need to

change?

Would you be willing to ask someone to help you with

that?

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COPING

IN RELATIONSHIP

For everyone looks out for his own interests,

not those of Jesus Christ.

PHILIPPIANS 2:21

As we discussed in the previous chapter, there are many ways that

individuals cope with uncomfortable situations. In this chapter, we

want to focus on the ways we cope with our unfulfilled desires in

relationships. When we have unfulfilled desires in a relationship,

we do things to try to cope with the fear, anger, hurt, or other

negative emotions that threaten to boil up. We think that there are

four basic strategies for coping with these feelings in relationships.

We can illustrate them with what Virginia Satir called “stances.”

The following illustrations will help you get a picture of what this

is about.

The Placater Stance

Someone in the placater stance will do anything to please someone

else. When they first see this stance, some feel that it looks like

begging. Others call it proposing. It could be that it is begging,

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